That's it. I'm thinking about going ahead and legally changing my name. To "Ma'am." Since this is now what I seem to officially be known by wherever I go. Gone are the carefree days of "miss" – replaced instead by, "Thank you, ma'am" and "Have a nice day, ma'am" and "Be careful, ma'am – your bones must be totally brittle by now!" (And to that 20-year-old checker at the Albertsons I frequent? No, I am NOT so elderly that I need you to help me out to my car with my one box of ten Hefty Cinch Saks. But thank you.)
The thing is, I don't feel like a "ma'am." I actually feel the same inside as I did when I was 12. This is probably made that much more prominent by the fact I've never had any children of my own and haven't yet been married. So besides that "career" thing I've acquired along the way and how I now live across town from my parents instead of with them...well, not much about me seems to have changed. I still dream of the same things I always did, am still afraid of the same things I've always been afraid of and still wonder what exactly I'm destined to become in this world. I don't expect any of these things will ever change...even when my journey here is almost done. But I like this: It's the way I've managed to never lose sight of myself over the past few years even as so many things around me have become various levels of unrecognizable.
So honestly. Can we have a new rule? Pretty please? I'm thinking along the lines of how various establishments post signs that they'll card you if they think you look anywhere under the age of 30. (And, NO this doesn't happen to me much these days as apparently I'm looking more and more like your grandma every moment.) There needs to be another rule – a companion rule, if you will – where you will call me "miss" as long as I look anywhere under the age of 50. Or maybe 90. Because really. Would it kill you??
