Note: This is not the previously mentioned cow post, which is still in the works and set to be released shortly. And –– as you can imagine –– it's going to be awesome! And by awesome, I mean this:
I know. It's mind-boggling.
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Welcome back, everyone! Today is WHAT-THE-F*CK-IS-THIS-CRAP WEDNESDAY here at Um...What?? This will be the first of many weekly installments (where the first of many equals the only one I ever do) in which I will post something totally pointless and useless that makes you all stop and go, "WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS CRAP??" and then oh, hey! It's just like every single other posting day in the entire history of this blog. Yay!
Today's installment of WHAT-THE-F*CK-IS-THIS-CRAP WEDNESDAY will illustrate how Team Um...What?? remains at the forefront of modern scientific investigation and discovery. Whatever you need to know? You can be sure we will find it out. Because we have advanced degrees and black belts in a little something known as the scientific method which is a method wherein science is used methodically and blah blah blah ALBERT EINSTEIN, etc.
Let us begin:
Last night, in the midst of a typical online exchange between Chris and me where we talk about important, topical issues of the day such as the upcoming remake of Red Dawn or people who are annoying, he sent me the following:
"What's NOT retarded is me sitting on my couch with 3D glasses watching people get sliced and diced by a crazy miner."
Backtracking for a moment, perhaps you all might remember this post from a while ago where I postulated from various facts at my disposal that all scientists wear 3D glasses, so if Team Um...What?? started wearing 3D glasses, we would all be scientists too! (Believe me. This line of reasoning is a lot more scientific than it appears at first glance.)
Giving NASA scientists a run for their money.
Then, in response, Um What's resident scientist Laurie confirmed my postulation as 100% accurate in this excellent follow-up post.
This is Laurie! Laurie wears 3D glasses. Laurie is a scientist. Therefore, everyone who wears 3D glasses IS A SCIENTIST.
I know. It's highly advanced logic. Don't question it.
So, returning to last night, Chris wearing his 3D glasses while watching –– as it turns out –– the 3D whore horror flick My Bloody Valentine (which contains, I am told, 30 gagillion gratuitous shots of some blond chick's boobs) equals CHRIS IS A SCIENTIST which, furthermore, equals Team Um...What?? continues to be at the forefront of modern scientific investigation and discovery.
Because –– as if I even need to remind any of you:
And 17 other scientific disciplines.
Note: Model's identity hidden to prevent her from having to be seen associating with Chris in public.
And in conclusion –– which in the scientific community is knows as a conclusion –– this:
The End.
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You: What the f*ck is this crap???
Exactly.
