Friday night I decided to try out a little design change on this blog.
Let's check in with two of our most loyal readers to see what they think of it:
Chris (later that same night while visiting/commenting on previous post): WHA? ME DRUNKY ALMOSS. BUH JUSS ALMOSS. Bog differ? Nooooozzzzzzz.......(THUMP)*
Mom (the next morning on phone after logging on here): It's different?
Why. Do. I. Bother.
* Okay. This is less part of an actual conversation Chris and I had and more a composite of an e-mail he sent me, the comment he left on my last post and the fact that while doing so he didn't notice the blog was different. This is called creative license.
To be fair, the new banner image you now see at the top wasn't there yet. (You: What new banner image? Me: Slightly more dead on the inside.) And in case you were wondering, yes I drew that porcupine in exactly the same way I drew that donkey a while back. Only this time around I actually paid good money for the right to use it and by that I mean it cost me fourteen dollars which is good because any more than that and I might not be eating this week. I haven't decided yet if using the porcupine illustration is really clever or tragically stupid, but obviously the second would probably be more ideal considering the blog that it's on, and it's not like I actually need to explain this to any of you. Unless, of course, you're new here, in which case I can only apologize and assure you it's not going to get any better.
But there was a different new banner there that looked like this:
This was a part of the new, pre-defined theme I chose (more examples of themes in a moment and yes, this is exactly as exciting as it sounds if not more so), and while I liked everything else about the overall design, I just wasn't sold on the stars. Stars? On my blog banner? What is that? A sci-fi blog? To boldly go where no blog has gone before? My science fiction-loathing best friend Maureen would never, ever visit here again:
Me: Oh! Today on my blog I...
Mo: I hate your stupid sci-fi blog. You can suck it and beam me way the hell on out of here.
My goal for the change was just to update my "Minimalistic" design a bit. "Minimalistic" is basically the No Design design and who would pick that? OH. I wasn't looking for anything radical, just a little attempt at refinement. Because the old design had no defined edges. No structure. The red banner just stretched out seemingly to infinity on both sides (Why??), and pretty much everywhere else was white meets white:
Old, boring blog.
Now, we've got edges with red and headline type with red and sidebar elements with red and RED, RED, RED, RED WELCOME TO MY BORDELLO BLOG:
New, boring blog.
And seriously? A picture of this blog post inside of this same blog post? You don't get this kind of Hall-of-Mirrors blogging technique just anywhere, you know. Primarily because nobody wants it. (I actually originally wrote "House of Mirrors" but that's a totally different thing where you go to a carnival fun house and look into all these mirrors that make you look deformed and fat and that's a whole OTHER reason Maureen would never come back here.) But this means I have to put up a placeholder image and then publish this and go back really quickly and take a new screen shot and then insert that and publish again while hoping no one sees this post before I do all of that. Excluding, I believe, anyone who subscribes in a reader. I think you automatically see only the first version. With the wrong screen shot. Although I don't know for sure. Because I don't really understand reader services. Or anything else about blogging, for that matter.
But if I hadn't liked the above theme, my blogging service offers well over a hundred additional pre-defined themes in several categories sure to satisfy anyone's taste (or lack thereof). Here's a very small sampling of some of their "scenes" themes:
This one is nice.
This is the one I'd use if I wanted to be clinically depressed every day from having to stare at a lonely, dead tree. Which, if I think about it, is way more symbolic to my actual life than I'd really care to admit. Holy sh*t I HATE this design. Sh*thead designer.
This is the one I'd use if I wanted to have no male readers ever again.
This is what I'd use if I could see Russia from my house. And looking at a polar bear didn't make me at all sad inside because why would it since I know they're not in any way endangered.
This is what I'd use if I was Chris. And loved football. And hated baseball. Because I had a profound mental defect.
This is what I'd use IF I HATED ALL MY READERS AND WANTED EACH OF YOU TO HAVE A DAILY ANEURYSM. Gag.
Below is one more screenshot. This one isn't of a pre-defined theme, except, of course, for the already established theme of This Blog Sucks. I found it here on this very nice blog that doesn't suck, when I was looking up information about "blogging on blogging" because I was thinking that maybe my last few posts on Twitterclouds and Google Searching and blog design AND JON BON JOVI might finally have me poised for a much coveted Technorati authority ranking! Not a high ranking. Just, you know, any ranking. Blog is topical! Witty! Insightful! People should cite my content! (You: WTF content would THAT be?) Although I only think this ranking system has to do with content. It might just be a popularity contest. Not that the distinction between intelligence and popularity really makes that much of a difference since this blog has neither. And since, according to Jeremy Zawodny, it also apparently sucks more than I even realized and how is such a thing possible?? (You: Oh, it's poss... Me: SHUT IT.) If you click on the image it will open up so you can read it more easily:
Notice how I wrote "I'm" with the apostrophe first. Awesome.
Jeremy Zawodny would totally hate me. Although I am actually going to attempt a TrackBack to his site when I publish this so maybe he won't hate me as much as he'll love me! Okay, he probably won't love me, but maybe he'll at least like me. Never mind. HE WON'T.
But now that my blog design is all tuned up and I've gotten this little lesson from Jeremy on how to be a better blogger content-wise, maybe tomorrow I will actually put up a real blog post! For you – my loyal readers. Won't that be great?? And since I even already know what the post is going to be about, all I can say is no, it won't be.