It's now official:
Due to my recent foray into the world of advertising, "Um...What??" is on the cusp of going
absolutely nowhere global! And by "foray" I mean "the lobby of a theater, hotel or apartment." Oh, wait. That is a foyer. Which sounds close enough to me!
This new venture is happening, specifically, via a new online ad promoting this blog:
I created this ad myself. As if that wasn't totally obvious. Except to those of you who instead thought a three-year-old made it. Which is probably all of you. And apparently would have been a better option for me, speaking both creatively and business plan-y. (See? Three-year-old would have also drafted better sentence probably devoid of the word PLAN-Y.)
Notice extra question mark. Do not even know name of own blog. FAIL.
Notice complete inability to center type within ad space. FAIL.
Notice almost direct admission that blog totally sucks. This is called "building consumer confidence." Or "FAIL."
But notice also the reference to Bossy! That's because my first-ever ad is currently appearing here:
Did you know you have to PAY for this kind of thing? This means that besides going "global", I will also soon, in all likelihood, be going "broke."
In addition, I wrote this ad myself, which means I can say that I am a guest author on Bossy's blog! LIE.
I have such a monstrous crush on Bossy's blog. Swooooooon. "iambossy" and "Um...What??" sitting in a tree! (If our blogs had a baby blog, it would be called, "iam...what??" Precious.) iambossy.com is hysterical with heart. And art projects. And photographs. And a road trip. And John Cusack. AND STELLA. When I need to find my happy place, I immediately find myself some Bossy. But as much as I love Bossy, I certainly don't want her to click on my ad, since the worst thing I can imagine would be Bossy actually reading this crap herself.
But of course this all begs the question: Who the hell advertises their own blog on another blog that is obviously SO MUCH BETTER than the one they're advertising could EVER hope to be? Someone with no marketing skills whatsoever, that's who. But I'm still hoping my
talentless creative new ad will help me to gain some new readers, and by gaining new readers I mean:
Bossy Reader (looking at ad): "What is this? I will click on it."
Same Bossy Reader (looking at blog): "This is sh*t! I will never click on it again!"
HI BOSSY READERS! I am sorry. (Oh, like any of them are still reading this far down. FAIL.)